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2004-09-08 - 11:12 p.m.

I guess it goes without saying that people often reflect on their lives and think, "I would never have expected this."

But it's so sad to imagine having to think, "I never wanted this."

Knowing that the two things I want most are at odds with each other (and that they are neither bad at all) is so hard to fit in with how I think the world should work. I guess I don't really have much of a say about how the world should work.

I have been reading Spencer's book about radical leftist political theory and it's mostly the same stuff that is old hat at Scripps. At least I can understand where he is coming from.

I liked seeing people tonight but I didn't feel normal.....I felt like I was missing someone. I guess it was probably someone like Laura.

I am feeling more nervous and on edge in the past few weeks. And my hand tremors have come back.

 

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