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2004-09-28 - 10:15 p.m.

I feel weird.
I feel like I can't hold on to thoughts in my head anymore. Or at least that I can't compose them into anything that makes sense to me. I just have this jumble of feelings and then I feel really tired. I don't have the energy or desire to really do anything except sleep. And talk. Or at least make the pretense of talking. I don't really know if I have anything to say.
I think it is confusing.
Sometimes I make myself paint a picture or read some in books and every once in a while I get excited about stuff like old times. Mostly I just feel weird.
Weird isn't even a good adjective.
I don't know. I can't think if I have felt this way for more than a few hours or not. Well I know that I have been tired for a long time.
I do worry.
When I feel good, I feel so good. And the opposite is true. But mostly I just feel tired. And sort of at a loss of what to do. There is a lot I could do, but somehow it doesn't seem like I want to DO it, I just think about how I want to do it. I don't know.
This is a bad entry. I don't know.
Maybe I just need to go to bed.

 

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