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2006-02-28 - 11:30 p.m.

Dear Pooper (or The Pooper):
As if it weren't bad enough that I had to become acquainted with your fecal matter, I also have the misfortune of having the room next to yours. You may not realize this, but you have one of the most annoying voices ever heard by humankind. A voice that can be heard through these thin walls day and night (especially night, when I am trying to sleep). Your boyfriend's voice (more precisely: his laugh) is also extremely irritating. Listening to the two of you for hours each day is chipping away at my sanity. I also do not like how your bed is next to the wall that separates your room nor how you bang/thump up against that wall multiple times each night. This disrupts my much-needed sleep.
I regret that lately our meal breaks have been coinciding. I do not like to see you or your greasy-haired boyfriend, nor to know that you have touched things with your post-bathroom unwashed hands in the same place where I am eating. I find myself creeped out and physically disgusted.
I am trying to not let bad feelings toward you build up inside me. I swear I am fighting the urge to hate you. I think of how I have likely been less-than-ideal as a neighbor. I think about how you probably don't know how I feel. But then I think about how you don't flush the toilet after you take a dump, and I see red.
Sincerely,
The Girl Next Door

 

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