2006-03-03 - 10:25 p.m.
7:11 PM me: HELLO??!??!
are you there?
can you seeeee me?
can you HEAR ME?!?!?!
can you FEEEEEEEL me?!?!
hahahaha
this is so funny
7:12 PM at least, I think so
7:13 PM GEORGIANA---my love! my friend! my friend can you hear me?
have you ever chatted on the internet before?!
would you like to now?
eh?
7:14 PM wokawoka
7:15 PM GEO
RGI
ANA
I am trying to CHAT with YOU
U
R U THERE?
psssst.....Georgiana?
R U THERE?
hey can you see me?
R U THERE?
7:16 PM Will you ever see this??!?!
will you ever know how I tried to chat with you?!
WILL YOU EVER SEE ME FOR WHO I AM
AIM
GMAIL
haha
I will text you
I will test you
7:17 PM I will test your visual skeeelz
can you see me?
CAN YOU SEE THIS!?!
I dunno why this is so fun!
but it is!
even when you do not write back!
hahahaha
woweeeee
hey----are you there?
7:18 PM pop pop pop
heard the new madonna yet? it's pretty gooooood
R U THERE?
you didn't respond to my text! it says you are here online
R U THERE?
hahaha
7:19 PM I see you typing
you have found me!
georgiana: hey I just turned around, I'm on the phone with my folks I'll write back in a minute. funny funny craxy
me: haha okay
28 minutes
7:48 PM georgiana: did you get my last post?
7:49 PM me: your last being your first?
the first shall be last and the last shall be first!
georgiana: It said: ok. I'm finally back. Are you still there? You were being so funny in trying to get my attention. I was talking on the phone and then I turned around and there was this big long listed post from you. So funny and then I turned around and there was this big long listed post from you. so funny and pleasantly surprising.
first! last!
me: oh yes
7:50 PM georgiana: last! first!
me: yes I got it all!
I got it all!
georgiana: Oh good. I think my internet connection when out and I don't know how this posting thing works. wokawoka.
me: this is CHATTING
this is THE FUTURE
THIS IS LIFE
7:51 PM I told Chris Allman yesterday that if he chatted with me online I knew for a fact he would fall for me
Can you see why?
georgiana: Chatting is so so weird. I only did it for the first time a couple days when luke wrote me. There was this little box and I didn't know what to do.
me: Can you believe it?
georgiana: I believe it baby!
me: Chatting is weird! but that's what is awesome!@
georgiana: I almost typed "I believe it baby?"
me: I believe in a baby?!?!
7:53 PM uh oh
you have disappeared?
you have lost your connection!
I have lost my connexions
WHY AM I SO FUNNY?
7:54 PM georgiana: My internet keeps going out. Ugh I hate this dumb internet stealing.
7:55 PM me: some day you will be legit
georgiana: We just got our own internet today, but we don't have a router or something like that. It's always somethin.
me: oh bogus
you will get a router
I will buy you five routers
ten
fifteen!
you will have forty computers
ten in each room
7:56 PM all connected to a router
7:58 PM Georgiana, I want to fall in love
forever
for real
without getting dumped
I want to get marrrrrrried
8:00 PM georgiana: Do internet signals move? I think I have to keep switching back and forth between signals. Each signal takes turns being the strongest and then my computer switches.
me: I don't know anything about signals
it is possible they move
like waves
georgiana: smoke signals
me: smokey waves
georgiana: just kidding
me: the new hit band
georgiana: funny
me: Just Waves
8:01 PM Kidding Band
Smokey the Gun
hahahahaha
georgiana: funny!
me: that's my new bandname
georgiana: wait, am I supposed to say ha ha when I'm laughing? How do I indicate that I'm laughing?
I love the band name.
8:02 PM It makes me think of Smokey the Bum
me: hahaha!
you can say "ha" "haha" "ha ha" (up to as many ha's as you like) or you can say LOL
because that means "laughing out loud"
and maybe you could say "small chuckle"
georgiana: I don't think I can handle LOL
me: or "quiet laughter"
8:03 PM "quiet laughter ensues"
georgiana: I do like the idea of "as many ha's as you like"
me: in parentheses for the phrasology
oh man I am laughing a lot
because I think I am so funny
georgiana: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
you are so funny
me: (raucous laughter ensues)
GUESS WHERE I WILL BE IN ONE WEEK?
8:04 PM IN YOUR ARMS BABY YEAH
georgiana: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haha ha h a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
me: HAHAHAHAHA
georgiana: just kidding
ha ha
me: we are funny
georgiana: ah ha
me: Christina invited me to maybe live with her and Kari this summer
georgiana: where?
me: in the soup kitchen
Crystal will be married and gone
8:05 PM georgiana: Oh yeah.
me: rent is only $125 and they're trying to talk it down!
crrrrrazy!
georgiana: That sounds so racously fun.
me: I will live in Provo and fall in love with the male Bushman
georgiana: the male Bushman so so funny
me: and also by that time Caleb will be back and he will fall in love with me, as will Chris Allman
8:06 PM and they will have the ultimate fight for my affections
resulting in POLYANDRY
georgiana: I like imagining the male bushman as a Kalehari Bushman, though I know the sweet truth to be Tyler
me: thus uniting my biggest fear (marrying Chris Allman) with my biggest dream (marrying TWO men)
haha bush man bushman
8:07 PM maybe I mean greatest, not biggest
georgiana: What will it take to get you to really date chris or caleb?
me: ha probably not much
I am so lonely (a silent tear trickles down my cheek)
georgiana: ah. sweet entertainment will be mine!
8:08 PM Oh...not about the tear sorrry!
me: haha I know!
georgiana: If you dated/married both chris and caleb you will surely end up having a documentary made about you that will win all the oscars AND sundance.
8:09 PM Think of what you guys would look like visually.
me: who would make the documentary? Spencer Kingman (former film school student in documentary film)?
georgiana: AHHHHHHH! no. Chad Gooch.
me: don't think of what we would look like visually, think of what our children would look like!
georgiana: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
8:10 PM I think all our lives have to end or tie together with Chad Gooch somehow.
me: or maybe you should think of what we would look like: me: now a young, successful lawyer, dressed in sexy/stylish skirty suits, a powerful woman
Caleb: a crazed, protesting, green party politician
Chris: long-bearded homeless man
georgiana: and caleb...sexy/stylish skirty suits
8:11 PM I meant in sexy/stylish...
Could chris ever grow a long beard. I am imagining only awkward fuzz.
me: all of us wearing mustaches that curl up at tehe end
georgiana: Yes with the mustaches!
me: I don't know about his beard growing abilities....he could knit one
8:12 PM georgiana: amen
me: all of us wearing knit beards
georgiana: ha ha (and I'm really laughing out loud for real this time)
me: and knit knickers! (but no one knows about that--alright there is one scene in the documentary where they show us in our underwear)
georgiana: That will be the name of the documentary: all of us wearing knit beards
8:13 PM me: there is no way to tell the gender of any of the four or five chilren we have running around until they reach puberty
georgiana: this is SO funny
me: we will name them all Adameve or Eveadam
alternatingly
georgiana: ha ha ha!
me: we will all sleep in one king size bed (and yes, all includes the children and also a cat and dog and maybe a parrot)
8:14 PM we will all spoon
georgiana: parrot!
with the parrot at the end of the long line of beautiful spooning.
it's all about the parrot
me: hahahahahahahaha
and the parrot will only know how to say the F word and quote microphones lyrics
hahahahaha
georgiana: ha!!!!!!!!!!!!
8:15 PM and all of the interviews in the documentary will be with the parrot alone
me: interspersed with scenes of us: me in the courtroom, with two androgynous children sitting next to me at the table, coloring
8:16 PM georgiana: and the parrot as the judge. ok, enough of my parrot jokes.
me: Caleb: wearing only dirty tighty whities leading a march against something or other, another couple of androgynous children
Chris in India, on top of a mountain, meditating with a group of Indians, (and the youngest of our children)
8:17 PM me, cooking us all up a mountain of boca burgers
Chris and Caleb: arguing about cicumcision (sp?)
me: rolling my eyes
georgiana: chris sitting on the top of the moutain of boca burgers
me: HA!
the whole family at the beach: all dressed in identical white tunics
8:18 PM georgiana: I hope there will be one normal zoobie kid in the family that is always mortified.
me: the more we talk about this, the more I want it to happen so much
georgiana: want? will.
me: I hope so
my whole life depends on it
georgiana: and your children's life
8:19 PM me: Adameves and Eveadams
georgiana: and the beards of your children
me: oh yes! the children wearing nothing but beards and diapers
georgiana: did you just now come up with adameve and eveadam? It's so funny.
me: yes
georgiana: brilliant
me: but you can bet that I'm going to use it for all naming purposes from here on out
8:20 PM georgiana: I guess this is obvious, but I want to state that the kids diapers will match calebs dirty tighty whities
me: but all the kids will have Chris's beautiful eyes
and Caleb's curly fro hair
and my thinness
8:21 PM and Caleb's laugh
HAHA
from the earliest age
georgiana: Chris's beautiful eyes? I didn't know he had beautiful eyes? Has the truth of your love betrayed itself?
calebs laugh...
8:22 PM me: oh maybe it was Laura who used to always talk about that with me...I thought it was a longstanding joke
georgiana: well it is now.
me: hahaha
let's imagine your life now! who do you want as your polygamous husbands?
georgiana: ooooo. hmm.
me: well the obvious seems to be Luke and Joe
8:23 PM the three of you would make a great pair
georgiana: joe jackson and his million of wives even though I will also have millions of husbands.
me: well I want this to only be women having more than one husband
to keep things simpler
georgiana: then joe jackson is out
me: to keep everyone connected to one womb
8:24 PM okay then...hmm...
georgiana: just kidding, he's in, I just wanted to make a joke about his multiplicitous dating habits
joe and luke
hmm
me: (seriously it is weird because the idea of a family orbiting around one womb is starting to seem so beautiful to me: polyandry is becoming so beautiful to me)
8:25 PM georgiana: sounds like a topic for sisters in zion!
me: hah!
georgiana: the new sunstone!
jk
me: hahah!
okay so Luke is off fighting the Zapatistas while Joe is fishing
georgiana: ZAPATISTI
I didn't mean to push enter yet
me: oops I mean fighting WITH the zapatistas not fighting them
8:26 PM and Luke has also entered into a gay marriage with Che Guavera's skull
georgiana: so funny!!!!
me: okay and also you are giving poetry readings around the country from your most recently published volume of poetrys
8:27 PM (if you want to)
georgiana: hey, I need to take a quick break. Helen just got home and wants to talk internet. give me 5-10
me: okay I will just keep going!
georgiana: sweet
8:28 PM me: Okay so you are all based in NYC, only Luke lives off the land in Central Park...your children will all have byronic good looks (from Luke)...
8:29 PM the children are taught how to be conventional and fitted for a life of being "hip professionals" by daddy number one, yet this is undermined by daddy two who is trying his best to ensure none of them ever learn how to speak (thus ensuring they will never become "civilized" or as he sees it, corrupted)
8:31 PM at the same time, you are trying to nurture your children's imaginations and teach them to value Truth and have them studying philosophy and art
9 minutes
8:40 PM me: the children, unsurprisingly, have rebelled against all three of you in the only way they could...
georgiana: only wsay they could? (this is so great by the way...[laughing])
8:41 PM "trying his best to ensure noen of them ever learn how to speak" will forever reign in my mind as THE description of luke
8:43 PM I like the crazy options luke has to offer, but I feel like joe is so uneccentric. I guess that's what makes the difference so funny, but....it's no clan of knit bearded kids.
8:44 PM me: I can't think of how they rebel
8:45 PM I agree about Joe: there's not much zaniness he can add, but the contrast is funny
who else could we throw in?
you could have three husband
s
8:46 PM georgiana: three husbands. o.k.
me: Karl!
georgiana: the MALE BUSHMAN!
karl
me: I was thinking male bushman but then I don't know enough about him to fill out the story well
I would just say "and all your children were really good looking and cool, like the rest of the bushmans"
georgiana: dave wooley? but I don't know if he has enough zaniness to offer either.
8:47 PM like the rest of the bushmans.... and we so all know how true that statement is
me: It's true! I need to GET IN ON THAT!
maybe the bushmans will be the new jorgensens
how many brothers?
single
available for me?
8:48 PM georgiana: Aren't you still going to try and get in on the jorgenson boat? Karl IS still available. And I really like karl in the pairing with chris and caleb.
me: oh okay yes I guess he can be my third husband
georgiana: The bushmans have a lot of brothers it seems like, but I think most of them are married.
but I don't know
me: I can picture him: Karl, avoiding people day and night, producing beautiful music
me and Karl: playing gameboy in bed, while spooning
georgiana: We'll just add on any bushman who aren't married as your 4ths and 5ths.
8:49 PM while spooning.
me: and wearing knitted beards
I want to do a photo shoot of this
georgiana: I think of saying ha ha I just repeat the thing I was laughing outloud at.
side note
me: I am dying of laughing
8:50 PM georgiana: PHOTO shoot is such a good idea! What would you call it though? I am imagining the pictures surfacing on myspace like the girls night out photos, but how can you name what we are describiing?
me: nothing in this world will bring me joy or peace until I can have a picture of me, Karl, Chris, Caleb, and some random kids in tunics, all spooning in a bed, playing individual gameboys, wearing brown knitted beards
georgiana: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYY!!!!!1
me: the label would be "Hannah's ultimate fantasy"
8:51 PM georgiana: ha ha ha
me: I really will pay money to make this happen
I am not joking
georgiana: you have all my monetary backing!
me: hahah!
what if Caleb never comes back to Utah? how can we make it happen?
whose kids can we use?
georgiana: So THIS is what will happen when you become a lawyer.
me: who will knit the beards?
a future photo shoot will us all be sitting in a jury box
8:52 PM or somehow in a courtroom
georgiana: I think you should request the beards from chris through boo boo baggins.
me: HA HA HA
have him send them to a California address!
georgiana: Chris: What do you need knitted beards for? How many?
8:53 PM It seems a beautiful scene in the movie when he realizes he has knitted all these beards for his OWN CHILDREN!
me: and then everything would be revealed in the moment we're all climbing into bed together...."Where did you get these beards--wait YOU are BOO BOO?"
yes! exactly!
georgiana: You: Yes dear. Come to bed.
me: you know if I were married to those three, I imagine I wouldn't have sex with Karl
but maybe I would
8:54 PM but I can't imagine it
georgiana: You could probably consumate that relationship through spooning
me: well then I think Karl and I have already consummated our relationship
hahaha
georgiana: ha ha ha !
8:55 PM me: what would be the order of spooning with the four of us? naturally, with just two husbands, I would be in the middle
georgiana: Have you ever read Moby Dick? There is a passage like that and the narrator declares them married.
order. hmm.
me: I haven't read Moby Dick (or if I have I can't remember)
georgiana: Well...I haven't either, but Helen is and she read the passage/page to me.
8:56 PM me: Karl would be more like a sister wife to me than a husband
georgiana: too true
me: not to downplay his masculinity
but he and I have a very fraternal bond
8:57 PM georgiana: to be a male sisterwife I'm sure is something that transcends all gender
me: too true!
well that's how I would want it to be
the whole fourway relationship would certainly be transcendent
it's the most amazing thing I've ever imagined
georgiana: side note...I think my last line is something for the out of context quote book. actually probably a lot of this belongs there.
8:58 PM me: hahah yes! I want to utilize this convo for a diaryland entry
but maybe instead I should write a proposal and send it to Karl, Chris and Caleb
georgiana: it would be so daring and beautiful to post the whole thing. talk about a transcendent diaryland entry...
me: yeah and few would read the whole thing!
8:59 PM georgiana: the proposal must not be sent directly to any of them, but only posted on your diary
me: and then the fact that we talk about it here makes the whole thing so postmodern
oh I thought you were going to write "the proposal must not be sent directly to any of them, but to their parents (or in Caleb's case: mission president)"
georgiana: ha ha ha
9:00 PM if you sent it to Calebs mission president, he wouldn't send him home.
me: ha ha ha or he would!
9:01 PM georgiana: Which makes me now imagine, you, chris, caleb, carl, and caleb's mission president....um, maybe I've gone too far.
9:02 PM me: uh oh
georgiana: Let's change that up with......jon oheler
me: Jon is too sweet to be involved in these sorts of shenanigans
georgiana: then again, jon may be too sweet
me: WOAH!
georgiana: whoa!
no way!
me: DOUBLE WHOA!
maybe you and I should get married
you, me, Chris, Caleb, Karl
9:03 PM georgiana: and then we'd have to invite helen
me: and let the cards fall where they may
three guys/three girls=brady bunch
not group marriage
georgiana: helen and Caleb WILL come together!
me: HAHAH!
that leaves you with Chris
and me with my sisterwifehusbandbrother Karl
georgiana: ha ha
9:04 PM me: Karl would not like to be married with Chris
but they'd all orbit around my womb
georgiana: At first I thought "no" with chris, but then I couldn't imagine any type of physical interaction at all with Karl or Caleb...chris it is.
me: should I say womb or vagina?
georgiana: either/or. I think I like womb.
9:05 PM me: I am fighting the urge to write a bunch of other possibilties
georgiana: wha? Tell me!
me: well first I was going to say "lovely lady lumps" and then I was thinking "lady bits"
or "lady box"
oh I don't know
haha
9:06 PM georgiana: lovely lady lumps
me: kick it
have you heard that song?
it's actually referring to her breasts...but I thought originally she was talking about...further south
georgiana: I think so, but I don't know how. Where would I have heard it? but I think I've heard it.
me: she also refers to her butt as "my hump"
georgiana: further south? What lovely lady lumps further south?
me: further south of the breasts
9:07 PM georgiana: intestines?
me: further south
georgiana: jk
me: haha
three men and five children revolve around my pelvis
georgiana: pelvis I read penis. this is getting weird
me: HAHA
"getting weird" ?
9:08 PM georgiana: three men and five children revolve around my penis
me: three penises and five children (who are too androgynous to have genitalia) revolve around my penis
georgiana: ha ha ha ha ha ha ah
me: why is this funny? I am laughing so hard
I don't even think penises are funny
hahaha
9:09 PM oh wait maybe I do
georgiana: it so funny.
I'm also imagining it on diaryland again. Maybe just that line
me: I am going to post this whole thing in a diary entry
no one will read it
WOAH
we did it again
it's like when two worlds collide
georgiana: !!
me: two orbiting penises collide
georgiana: It's like when two words collide
penises is better
I mean, your version of penises is better
me: remember--they are in orbit, which makes them like planets
9:10 PM have I ever had a stranger conversation than this?
georgiana: I hope not and I hope so
yeah. chatting is great!
me: (please forgive me but I can't help but think about combining orbiting penises with the knitted beards joke)
georgiana: ha ha ha!
9:11 PM me: I am crying now
for real
tears of shame and laughter
georgiana: the subtitle to the documentary All of us in knitted beards: tears of shame and laughter
me: HA HA HA
9:12 PM I hope the photo shoot is the genesis of a coffee table book that accompanies the documentary
georgiana: Good thins it's friday night or else I'd feel bad keeping the neighbors up with my laughing
me: called "Orbiting around a penis: how one woman became a husband to three brother wives"
georgiana: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
9:13 PM me: and you open it up and its us all in bed, playing harvest moon on the gameboy, wearing only tighty whities (the beard covers my breasts), spooning, and making polygamous marriages fashionable again
9:14 PM georgiana: HAAAAAAAAAA! my throat hurts from laughing!
me: now that you've seen the vision, how can you ever be satisfied with monogamy again?
seriously
georgiana: have you heard about the new HBO show? We should send them this stuff. Good material for making polygamous marriages fashionable.
9:15 PM me: I hear that Big Love makes polygamous marriage look suburban
georgiana: yeah. so THIS is what Joseph Smith had in mind!
me: why not embrace eccentricity?
9:16 PM why not imagine OK Ikumi as a family band? all of have the same set up as Karl (the little kids have little synths and drum machines) and we all set up in a circle: the audience dances in the middle
georgiana: the audience dances in the middle!
me: with Caleb, who pours flour and sugar and milk on himself
georgiana: I am now getting images of native america
9:17 PM me: well why not? we want to be as multicultural as possible!
georgiana: I like that my line came after the caleb line
me: I could fall in love with Chris and Caleb and Karl together
9:18 PM our marriage could have us all wear beards that were knit together in the middle: WHITE BEARDS: imagine the symbolism!
four beards knit together
so a cross
a white, knitted cross
or plus sign
georgiana: ha ha
9:19 PM me: and then when each baby is born we place him/her in the center and bounce him/her up and down
georgiana: and you would raise the children on the plus sign hammock connected to you all
me: and give him/her a name (adameve or eveadam) and a blessing
oh yes, until they can walk for sure
it will be like a papoose
9:20 PM that can be another one of the pictures in the coffeetable book
a real heartwarmer
georgiana: I'm also imagining you all walking with your hands on each others shouldres
me: shoulders? more like asses!
georgiana: ha ha !
me: (sorry to cuss!)
georgiana: worth it
me: our hands would be in each other's pockets
9:21 PM back pockets
what if I really really orchestrated a bunch of photos like this: SUCH A GREAT ART EXHIBIT
SUCH A GREAT WAY TO PROPOSE!
9:22 PM georgiana: So if you were all connected with the beards and had hands in each others pockets, I'm imaging you all spinning in a circle when you walk. The reinvention of the whirling dervishes.
me: have you noticed I've started to use a colon as my primary punctuation: it's crazy!
georgiana: ::
me: we'd actually have a family-sized segway to ride on (of course)
georgiana: HHHHHHHHAAA ha ha
9:23 PM me: life will seem so empty tonight when I crawl into bed alone....and beardless
georgiana: Thinking of this as an art exhibit I wonder what anyone else would think? Would they get why a family sized segway is so funny? Would it be funny?
me: it would be beautiful
not funny
it would express something true
georgiana: What kind of reading would outsiders put on it
me: they would know it was true
they would know it was Art
9:24 PM georgiana: true dat
me: they would join beards and join us
georgiana: like the stakes of zion
me: yeah
I'd be the founder of a great nation
my seed....
(wait seed isn't semen right?)
9:25 PM georgiana: I think seed can refer to both men and women
I think
me: okay my seed would be like the sands of the earth
all generations would have Caleb's curly hair, Chris's beautiful eyes, and Karl (I guess we consummate the relationship after all)'s fat beats
9:26 PM fat synths! not beats!
georgiana: I like fat beats
so funny
me: okay
and we would be the next supreme court justices
just because
georgiana: you wouldn't be the supreme court justices but the incarnation of justice itself I think
9:27 PM me: that's true...Justice, Truth, Beauty
that is the subtitle to the record the family band puts out under the name of "Smokey the Gun"
the title is "We Are"
9:29 PM I really am just sitting here imagining the different pictures/scenes: it's like that part of All Dogs Go to Heaven
georgiana: so true
me: do you think we'd wear hats?
georgiana: If we can't make the photobook, I think we should at least storyboard it just in case.
me: oh for sure
I want it to happen
georgiana: what kind of hats?
9:30 PM me: I don't know...either baseball hats or the kind of hats Catholic cardinals wear
or maybe beanies?
black knit beanies
georgiana: definitely the kind catholic cardinals wear...
9:31 PM knit beanies. awesome. The propellor part will have to be knit too.
me: hahaha
don't forget we have mustaches that curl up at the end (not knit)
georgiana: true
9:32 PM I like that we have to clarify "not knit"
9:33 PM me: that can be the title of the book our detractors write about us "Not Knit: How the Neighborhood Fought Back Against the Fundamentalists"
(because I guess we'd be fundamentalists)
georgiana: SO! funny.
9:34 PM I love thinking about this as some form of fundamentalism
and people getting it mixed up with mormonism
me: yeah and the church would have to issue some sort of statement
9:35 PM georgiana: we do not endorse the practice of knitting beards together...
me: we believe all children should be raised lovingly by a husband and wife, not a conglomerate of sisterhusbands
9:36 PM georgiana: we do not endorse the practice of naming all children adameve or eveadam...
me: we believe children have genders before they reach puberty
georgiana: ...but bishop eveadam...
me: (is that the zoobie who grew up? that rat!)
I bet the zoobie kid is a football player too
just because
9:37 PM georgiana: would eveadam have a last name or is that what would be on his/her jersey
his I guess if he's a bishop
9:38 PM me: oh we wouldn't have a last name
well maybe eveadam would be the last name too
no it would be eveadams
georgiana: imagining the grown up son as a football player, I feel like somehow this has already happened and we just didn't know about it and that son is Steve YOUNG.
9:39 PM me: so it would be Eveadam Eveadams (or Adameve Eveadams)
georgiana: ha ha
me: yeah Steve Young totally changed his name from Eveadam Eveadams
georgiana: when should we go public with this information?
me: I think the middle name would be a numeral to distinguish multiple Eveadams or Adameves
georgiana: about steve young?
9:40 PM me: oh let him be...the tentacles of the beard will bring him back to us slowly
georgiana: for which there would be many
9:41 PM me: if someone posted a diaryland entry that was a hugelong chat convo, would you read it?
georgiana: it depends on who posted it.
me: we've been doing this for HOURS
georgiana: you. yes
me: it is grueling
you would read anything I posted, my little buttercup
9:42 PM from now on, all my posts will be chats
georgiana: how long do you usually chat with people when online?
me: hah
I don't know! until the conversation ends!
when it is with a friend and we are coming up with cool ideas, forever!
georgiana: YEAH!
me: NO ONE CAN TAKE MY RIGHTS AWAY
9:43 PM georgiana: You know, I think we should send this to eric to show him my true nature.
me: he'll read it on diaryland
when I post it
all secrets will out
the right will prevail the wrong will fail with peace on earth good will toward men
georgiana: from the rooftops baby
9:44 PM me: have you ever heard of a poem called "The Hound of Heaven"?
georgiana: no. what is it?
me: it's about someone being relentlessly pursued by God
georgiana: pursued...romantically pursued?
me: no!
pursued like chased
9:45 PM like a hound dog
chasing a criminal
like a hound of heaven
9:46 PM georgiana: It's long. I"m looking at it right now I think.
me: yeah I only gave it a skim
georgiana: Well, not long for a poem, but I was going to read it and respond
where did you hear about it?
me: on feminist mormon housewives
someone posted a link to it
georgiana: why?
me: she thought it was cool
9:47 PM georgiana: why?
me: I dunno...maybe because she wanted to strike fear into the exmos hearts: "YOU CANNOT RUN AND YOU CANNOT HIDE!!!"
somehow I doubt that was her intent
9:48 PM georgiana: One intersting thing I searched today was looking to see who on ldslinkup listed brokeback mountain as a favorite movie.
me: anyone?
did you see it?
georgiana: quite a few actually. Some were obviously jokes.
me: try Transamerica
georgiana: most seemed sincere.
what is transamerica?
9:49 PM me: it's about a man becoming a woman...and I think he learns he has an illegitimate son or something
the woman who played the man-to-woman is up for an Oscar
I just don't think anyone would have it on there as a joke
georgiana: oh. did not know that.
me: did you hear about the TV show Black.White?
georgiana: no.
9:50 PM me: they took a black family and a white family and then did extensive makeup/wigs/etc to "transform" the whites into blacks and the blacks into whites and then had them go out into the community
9:51 PM georgiana: interesting. Does it seem exploitive or genuine?
me: it starts next week--I think I'm going to try to watch it and see...but I think it is supposed to be genuine
but you never know with these sorts of things
at the least it should be interesting
georgiana: I read a handful of papers when I was doing my research paper on how people hated black like me for the exploitive factor.
9:52 PM it will definitely be interesting
me: I talked to Nate Tate online yesterday
georgiana: Really? How is he?
me: he is not having very much fun in Costa Rica
he says he doesn't get along with anyone
georgiana: really. that is a surprise
me: and everyone hates him
yeah! I know
that's what I said!
9:53 PM georgiana: why!?!?!
me: I don't know...he seemed really frustrated
so then I just reassured him that he was cool and easy to get along with etc.
georgiana: Nate isn't the type to think that people don't like him when they do, is he?
me: nope
I mean, usually I think everyone likes him
9:54 PM because he is easy to get along with
georgiana: hmm.
me: he said he thinks about me a lot and how I think he is cool
haha
georgiana: will he stay out there the full time if this keeps up?
me: I am not sure
I tried to convince him to move to NYC and make the $$$$ with me when he gets back though!
9:55 PM georgiana: does he sound interested?
me: he said "I want to think about it first" and I was like "well obviously....I'm not even sure I'm moving there"
and he said he wanted to go to India
and I said we could save up for big trips together
and then I think he thought I meant travel with him because he started talking about how I might start hating him since everyone else hates him as a travel companion
9:56 PM georgiana: you didn't mean travel with him?
me: well that'd be fun, but I just want to travel period
georgiana: yeah.
me: and if he wants to go to India but I want to go somewhere else, oh well
though India does sound cool
9:57 PM georgiana: beautiful.
me: when I am a rich lawyer, I will take you on vacation with me
you and your husband
with me and my husbands (uhoh! it came back)
georgiana: ha ha
9:58 PM this reminds me that maybe I shouldn't be buying any couches and saving up for real things I want in the world
me: well it's not too late
georgiana: true
I think I want to buy a chandelier and them I'm basically done
9:59 PM chandeleir sounds so so excessive
me: buy it from the one place on Steinway!
where I almost worked
next to the Astoria Diner
georgiana: YES!
me: (p.s. I hope you are ready to eat at the Astoria Diner next week)
georgiana: I still haven't been back to the hang out. I need to.
ACK. I still can't believe you are coming so soon!
me: me neither
my time goes by so quickly it is actually scary
10:00 PM georgiana: SO quickly. I still haven't asked for the time off yet. I wrote down the days you are coming, but I think it's lost in my bag somewhere. Sorry I'm such a ditz. What are the days again.
10:01 PM me: the night of the 9th til the afternoon of the 21st
and it goes without saying you don't need to ask for the whole time off!
georgiana: Cool. Yeah, I won't ask for it all off, but I want to get some days off.
10:02 PM me: I found out that a guy from my writing class (who I have the tiniest of crushes on) is also going to be in NYC for spring break
I hope I make out with him in Central Park
georgiana: wha? let's hang out.
me: well he and I have never hung out or anything
but maybe this will be a funny/good excuse
maybe he will be so impressed with my writing
10:03 PM he's one of the best writers in the class
georgiana: really!
me: yes
georgiana: that is always the biggest crush factor in my book. I LOVE the best writers in the class.
New york would be a fine magical place to start a fine magical friendship.
10:04 PM me: yes the girl who is the best writer in the class has to listen to me give her awkward compliments (not even necessarily about her writing) multiple times each class
georgiana: Oh! I HAVE to tell you something funny in my dream I just remembered....I was dreaming that I was talking to someone about self-help books and they recommended one, or I told them I was writing one and the title was (I love this)...."Let the Unicorn Win"
10:05 PM off topic, but I just remembered and it's so funny
me: I would love love love to read that self-help book
georgiana: you and me both
me: do you remember the name of Karl's self help book? something about bad news bears?
georgiana: oh. I don't remember, but it sounds familiar
10:06 PM me: it was a funny joke, whatever it was
georgiana: yeah. there'll be plenty more where that came from when you are connected to him at the beard
me: I also have a tiny crush on a law student in my ward! I hate lawyers!
10:07 PM georgiana: yeah right.
jk
me: he'll be giving me all the self-help I need! (from the beard)
and he used to be my home teacher
and he has really nice hands
georgiana: karls new self help book: from the beard, to the beard
10:08 PM I love nice hands
me: yes I know!
Kenny had gross hands
it should have tipped me off!
georgiana: kill kenny!
that wasn't even a south park joke...sorry if it sounded like it
me: haha I did think it was
I think from now on I will be physically repulsed by someone if he has ugly hands
10:09 PM georgiana: oh man.
you and helen both
me: the more I think about it, the more it seems like the grosses possible physical attribute
Helen is an ankle woman
georgiana: true, but it sounds like something she would say
at least subconsciously
10:10 PM me: well you would say it too, if you saw truly gross hands
it would be a turning point in your life
what do you think the grossest possible physical feature is?
georgiana: then I shall have to meet this kenny
circumcision
jk
10:11 PM me: I was going to say that is too bad for you, since you'll likely be confronted with it
georgiana: no, I'm cool. it just seemed funny
me: well penises are funny
10:12 PM by definition
penis n. male genitalia; funny
georgiana: bad fingernails seem pretty gross, but I guess that's part of the hands
ha ha on the definition
me: yeah see? gross hands equals the worst
georgiana: gross lips seem pretty gross
10:13 PM like chappy, little bit pasty slimy...
me: oh you are right! good call
that makes me want to vomit
georgiana: A really weird shaped nose could be horrible.
10:14 PM me: excessive hair could be bad...like a hairy back
georgiana: then again, my first boyfriend jon had a HUGE nose. it was his defining feature and I was o.k.
I guess it can be big, but weird shaped weirds me out. Eric has a weird shaped nose. He has really big nostrils.
me: or curly curly chest hair
big nostrils are gross
georgiana: I don't mind hari. Especially after I saw dave wooleys chest. He converted me.
me: even though I probably have them
10:15 PM I don't mind some chest hair
I think it's funny
georgiana: no. if you have big nostrils I've never never noticed.
me: well I hope you don't start noticing now!
oh! what if a guy had a gross, lumpy butt?
georgiana: big nostrils means you can see them from the side of the persons nose.
lumpy butt. funny and gross
10:16 PM Really really big thighs seems really unattractive or a really thick neck.
me: true true
ew I am putting these all together into one man
georgiana: and greasy hair even when it's clean
and a cleft chin
10:17 PM me: yeah I was thinking about greasy hair
oh and really messed up teeth
georgiana: and gook in his eyes
me: and a permastare
and hair coming out of his ears/nostrils (even though my dad has that and he's ok)
georgiana: so we're describing your dad?
who knew?
me: hahahaha NO
georgiana: jk
10:18 PM me: my dad is a handsome man'
georgiana: I would agree with that.
and not in the way of a friend saying your dad is hot or anything, but he is a handsome man
me: yeah
10:19 PM georgiana: so....I'm getting really tired, and I have to dress up as a princess for a little girls princess part tomorrow so I better go.
me: alright
10:20 PM I will post this on dland
georgiana: seriously?
me: unless you object?
georgiana: no!
I would love it
me: alright
we will be famous forever
georgiana: The reactions will return me to Dland religously again
me: no one will even react
it's the nature of the beast
georgiana: true, but...
10:21 PM having it out there will give me enough joy in thinking about the random glance
me: haha
yeah
I will be happy forever now, dreaming of my three husbands
10:22 PM georgiana: amen. womb mother around which all penises orbit.
me: you can achieve the same, your womb is more powerful than mine
(wouldn't that be weird if that were how women complimented each other?)
georgiana: ha ha ha. I WISH!
10:23 PM Thanks for making me laugh my womb out tonight.
me: you're welcome! have a good night
I will call you tomorrow or Sunday
georgiana: cool and good.
me: byebye!
georgiana: good night.
